Well I’ve only been here for a few days and most of that portion was taken up with orientation and settling in, we’ve only had three days where we’ve had an actual class/ an extended amount of time in the prayer room, but I feel like the Lord is already doing some great things.
Normally the interns will be in the prayer room from 6pm till midnight, but Saturday there were two hours before that. It’s pretty intense to have all this thought about who God is and how to interact with him poured into our head and then to be stuck in a room to go talk to him about it. I’m not gonna lie, the last hour on Saturday was pretty tough. I had to get up and pace back and fourth just to keep my mind awake enough to engage in what’s going on in the room. It was hard, but so enjoyable at the same time. If we were there for short spurts of time, it would be easier to just grit my teeth and run out the clock. When we’re in there for 6 hours at a time, what else could I do but interact with God? I really want to “go for it” while I’m here, especially in the prayer room. I want to try and implement the tools the leaders are trying t give me, because really if I wanted to just keep doing things like I’ve always done, I could have stayed at home.
I think maybe the most amazing things I heard yesterday were that God did not create separation, we did. When we sin, we want to cover ourselves with shame and distance, not willing to be near Him because we either a. enjoy it when we know we shouldn’t, or b. feel so ashamed/dirty/unworthy/afraid and we can stand to let him come near us. It’s so sad. From the very beginning, when Adam and Eve first hid form the Lord He was the one searching them out. And when they told Him what happened, his first reaction was make a promise that things were going to be made right once again. He promised that even thought we had partnered with the enemy for a moment, that He would make us enemies once again, and the seed of Eve (Jesus) would destroy seed of the devil.
Another thought that was reminded to me was of when Jesus went to go raise Lazarus from death (John 11: 38 ->). Ok, so here is God, who KNEW that Lazarus was going to die before… well, dunno when, but He wasn’t shocked when it happened. He even told His disciples 3 days before they went to see him that Lazarus was dead. That’s pretty impressive, but let’s be honest, not completely out of the realm of what we would expect any all-powerful deity to be capable of right? What’s amazing to me is that when speaking to the sisters of this man, that He took the time to weep with them (maybe just Mary?) before He did the work. He wept with her even knowing that in just a short time he was going to walk over to the tomb and tell him to get up. Wouldn’t we just tell her to get a gripe and raise him already? But He took the time to mourn with her, even knowing that the sisters would receive him back. Wow. Our God is not far off. He is not emotionless. He is here for everything we go through. It blows my mind, and heals my heart. Maybe just a little bit of what I need, but it’s going in the right direction.
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